‘1000 portions of fruit and veg needed per day,’ says scientist

fruit and vegfruit and veg

A prominent scientist has settled the public uncertainty about fruit and veg consumption, by stating that we require 1000+ portions per day.

Leading scientist, Peter Thape believes that our three square meals should all be vegetables, with a butternut squash between two lettuce leaves considered a reasonable snack, if we should become peckish. Thape additionally sees us sleeping with a cardboard toilet role in our mouths, so that conscientious passers-by can toss in essential broccoli and cherry tomatoes.

‘Birthday cakes could be an avocado with a candle in, and a wedding cake could be several tiers of neatly shaped spring onions,’ offered Thape.

‘See, all the answers are out there,’ added Thape.