3 new Spider-man films out next week

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Having not released a new Spider-man film for nearly ten days, Marvel studios are delighted to announce three new Spider-man films for next week.

Spider-man Reborn, Spider-man Re-boot, and Spider-man Does a Massive Dump will all be on general release from Friday, followed by this August’s summer spectacular film, Spider-man – Just Fuck Off.

Cinema goer, Peter Thape (22) has only watched 16 versions of Spider-man at the pictures in his short life, and is understandably angry that so few Spider-man films have ever been made.

‘Why do they release a Spider-man film so rarely?’ asked Thape.

‘My dad once made me watch The Shawshank Redemption. There were absolutely no Spider-men in it. It was wank,’ added Thape.