All cars and vans to be made of marshmallows to defeat terrorism


The government has reacted to the ongoing problem of cars and vans running into crowds of pedestrians by insisting that all future vehicles are manufactured from marshmallows.  

The Minister for Terrorism, Peter Thape has accepted that the latest incident of a woman accidently driving into a crowd celebrating Eid, needs a more corn syrup and albumen based solution.

Thape though faces a backlash from angry motorists, who will realistically only be able to use vehicles on mild, dry days.

‘I think it’s fair to say that the government is on top of any further threat of terrorism,’ said Thape.

‘Perhaps now we can concentrate on my more important proposal for all knives to be made of powdered sherbet,’ added Thape.