Americans wondering where today’s mass shooting will be

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Americans are excitedly waiting to find out which ones of them will be slaughtered by today’s inevitable multiple shooting.

Schools, places of worship, and bars are all queuing up to see who will be today’s beneficiary of the country’s policy on gun control.

Thoughts and prayers are being lined up, along with shocked, tearful witnesses, who will never have imagined that what is going to happen…has happened today.

‘Shootings are good for our funeral industries,’ said President Trump.

‘Plus, balloons, flowers, broadcasting, placard makers – it’s win win,’ added Trump.