Ant is the father of Dec’s baby


News that Declan Donnelly and his wife are expecting their first child has been dampened by suspicions that Ant McPartlin is the real father of the child.

Conspiracy theorists have pointed to the ultrasound scan, which showed an enlarged forehead on the baby, plus McPartlin’s sudden disappearance from public life.

Local shopper, Peter Thape saw McPartlin late last night, sneaking a packet of Huggies onto the checkout at ‘McColls,’ along with 60 cans of 0.1% Shandy Bass.

‘I held the door open for him,’ said Thape.

‘He said the nappies weren’t for him, in his dead strong Geordie accent,’ added Thape.