Apes ready to take over, as virus spreads

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Apes have said that they’re ready to take over the planet, as their plan of a pandemic virus comes together.

Apes will begin their new reign from Monday week, firstly taking responsibility for local government tasks, including rubbish removal, lollipop apes, and planning issues.

Local human, Peter Thape knows that Apes will probably do a better job at running things than we have, but is still hoping to put up some resistance.

‘Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!’ said Thape.

‘I’ve been waiting all my life to say that line,’ added Thape.