Birmingham to become new capital now that last few Londoners have been stabbed


With the number of Londoners expected to have run out by the end of April, Birmingham has emerged as the new capital city of England.

New make-up ads are currently being filmed in which the usual range of unsmiling, skeletal models are using the tag line…Get the Birmingham look, whilst both The Queen and Prince Philip have been seen riding around in Brum.

Local Midlander, Peter Thape is looking forward to both FA Cup semi-finals being played at Walsall’s stadium, just off the M6.

‘Suppose my terrace house will be worth £600,000 more,’ said a reluctantly happy Thape.

‘Not really looking forward to eating avocado, and bulgur wheat,’ added Thape.