Celebrity deaths below budget for the year


Users of Facebook have been complaining about the decreased number of celebrity deaths this year, as compared with the bumper crop of 2016. 

Murial Hislop was the first of her friends to get several RIP updates on Facebook last year, and received over two thousand comments and sad faces in return.

Hislop says that Celeb deaths are 7% down to date this year, but accepts that the run up to Christmas usually provides the larger percentage of annual turnover.

‘The slight increase in European terrorism has certainly been good for ‘likes’ & ‘shares,’ if you can get it on your status nice and early,’ accepted Hislop.

‘But you’ve got to avoid Middle-East bombings. They’re a nightmare; I once changed my picture for a flag of Egypt; never again,’ added Hislop.