Children not returning to school until they’re 35


The government looks set to delay the return to school until 2040 at the earliest.

Primary schoolchildren will be an average of 35 before they return, with GCSE students approaching 50.

Local dad, Peter Thape has been allegedly working from home for the last 11 weeks, and was hoping that all this nonsense would be ending soon.

‘Jesus Christ!’ said Thape.

‘I like the kids…loosely, but this is just mental,’ added Thape.