Country paralysed by an inch of snow to go on its own in 8 weeks


There better not be any snow around when we take on the rest of the world at the end of March, otherwise we’re absolutely fucked.

Theresa May needs to organise some sort of sunshine, or at worst some light rain, otherwise we’ll all be taking a duvet day.  

As every child performs some voodoo dance in hope of school being cancelled, local dad Peter Thape admits that he’s not far behind them, in not wanting to go to work.

‘Just had the text saying that the kids don’t have to go to school,’ said Thape.

‘So, I’ll be taking the day off to look after them, even though they’re 17 & 15,’ added Thape.