‘Don’t make us tell someone b4 we have a w*nk!’ says everyone


The nation’s secret wankers, which is essentially everyone, have been told that they’ll have to prove their age before playing Uno from July onwards.

Throwing one over your thumb, or taking a visit down to the Midlands will require you to fill in a form, and get verification from now on.

Local wanker, Peter Thape is already in a panic about the July deadline.

‘I’ll have to get all my wanks in now,’ said Thape.

‘I’ll do 4 a day until we go to Spain – the law’s different there,’ added Thape.