The nation is collectively rubbing its chin and sarcastically shouting out ‘Sure Boris!’ as the verdict on Jeffrey Epstein’s death has been revealed as ‘Suicide.’
Reports show that Epstein’s cell still had all the packaging in it from his ACME suicide kit, when his body was discovered.
New York prison guard, Peter Thape found all the bubble wrap, and suicide instruction pamphlet when he inspected the cell.
‘He’d been sent the Noose guaranteed Special kit,’ said Thape.
‘The return address was Buckingham Palace,’ added Thape.