Everyone in London to have their own runway

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The government has decided to grant planning permission for each Londoner to have their own runway, and airport terminal – if they fancy one.

All Londoners with table-tennis bats will be encouraged to steer massive planes onto their tarmac gardens to increase the capacity for more planes.

Chairman of The Planes for London campaign, Peter Thape is looking forward to the environmental advantages of the new runways.

‘All runways have a little bit of grass next to them,’ offered Thape.

‘Each runway in London could provide a new home for a dozen worms or beetles,’ added Thape.