Those people who wondered what benefits Brexit may bring were put in their place last night, as new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson promised each of us a free pilchard.
As his speech progressed, Johnson held a symbolic kipper above his head, before pledging a pilchard, or fish of similar size, to every UK citizen.
But local Brexiteer, Peter Thape seemed disappointed, after secretly hoping that Johnson might give us all a goldfish on October 31st.
‘We won the vote – we should win a goldfish,’ said Thape.
‘We’re not going to win anything, are we?’ wondered Thape.