Chinese astronauts have discovered that the far side of the moon is not dark at all, but completely brilliant, with shit loads to do.
China sent a spacecraft up there expecting to find a dusty, desolate landscape, but were pleasantly surprised to find a thriving, well-lit seaside town.
Moonpool, as scientists have now called it, offers good accommodation, a varied night life catering for all tastes, and five donuts for a pound.
‘It’s fuckin’ top,’ said Chinese astronaut Xi-ping Thape.
‘More fighting than I thought though,’ added Thape.