A fat man from Westminster has been lowered in by Chinook helicopter to fill the hole in the Whaley Bridge dam.
New Prime Minister, Boris Johnson has stepped forward, on cue, to save the town in Churchillian fashion.
Whaley Bridge resident, Peter Thape has thanked Johnson, and been critical of those who thought that the appointment of Boris as PM would have no value.
‘He’s exactly the right shape for the hole,’ said Thape.
‘The water would have flooded past that pasty vegan bastard, Corbyn,’ added Thape.