‘Need any medical advice…I’m your man,’ offers Trump

Donald Trump, chairman and president of the Trump Organization and the founder of Trump Entertainment Resorts, speaks at a National Press Club Newsmaker Luncheon in Washington, DC, on May 27, 2014. AFP PHOTO/Jewel Samad (Photo credit should read JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

Dr. Donald Trump definitely won’t be getting malaria or lupus any time soon.

Trump has medicated himself sufficiently, and is now ready to go backpacking in West Africa, should he need to.

Trump has added malaria pills to drinking bleach and forcing sunlight up his anus in a bid to stave off Coronavirus.

‘I’m opening a homeopathic school for medicine when all this is over,’ said Trump.

‘I know you won’t believe this, but I’m the actual President of a real country,’ he added.