Harry Billinge to fight Capt. Tom to see who’s the best oldie

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The highpoint of this year’s D-day celebrations will be a fight between oldies pin-up, Capt. Tom and his nearest challenger, Harry Billinge.

The fight, which will be shown on Sky Sports, will end months of pub debate, and finally prove who Britain’s best very old person is.

Billinge told Cutting News that he’s proper pissed off after his own charity work was recently overshadowed by Tom’s trundle around his garden.

‘I’m gonna fuck him up at the weigh in,’ said Billinge.

‘Walking round his garden like he’s all that,’ added the esteemed Veteran.