Has 3 pieces of shitty tape made your workplace safe?

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Has your boss gone out and got some tape from the pound shop, stuck it on the carpet, and now you can’t get Coronavirus?

Maybe they’ve bought a pretty yellow and green sign too, that says something about handwashing, or walking one-way.

But local, soon-to-be infected employee, Peter Thape has noticed that everyone’s still stood 3 inches apart most of the time.

‘I’m probably going to catch it, and die,’ accepted Thape.

‘But after 8 weeks of chocolate, crisps, and pizza I was heading that way anyway,’ he added.