Hose pipe ban kicks in

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A ban on the use of hose pipes begins today, after the lengthy summer has left reservoirs and water reserves dangerously low.

The government has reminded people to put a bowl of water out for elderly neighbours, who may be struggling in the arid conditions.

Local drought expert, Peter Thape recommends the routine carrying of a pipette, to help carry home any bonus discoveries of water.

‘A pipette could save your life; I got mine from Double Chemistry, when the teacher was distracted,’ said Thape.

‘You can probably pick one up from your local apothecary,’ added Thape.