From the ashes of the plastic bag production line, human beings have skilfully managed to create a burgeoning industry in non-recyclable plastic packaging cushions.
Humans, who used to have to go to the shops to buy stuff, are enjoying a new era of sitting at home getting fatter, whilst wondering if the delivery van driving up and down the road is looking for their house.
No longer physically capable of carrying, or able to afford the expensive plastic bags, humans have found a way of propping up a failing plastics industry with the creation of endless strips of air-filled cushions.
‘I like to slowly to prick the bags with a knife, and slowly squeeze the air out; much more fun than a plastic bag,’ said home shopper, Peter Thape.
‘Plus, this new air-filled packaging will help the turtles float better, so everyone’s a winner,’ added Thape.