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‘I’m pregnant with your 7th or 8th child,’ girlfriend told Boris

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Boris Johnson has gone off his tits at his girlfriend, after discovering that she may be expecting his child.

Boris’s girlfriend, Carrie Symonds told Cutting News that she broke the news last night, and was really disappointed by his reaction.

Symonds (aged 19) added that she is looking forward to featuring heavily on satirical websites after Boris becomes PM.

‘He threw red wine all over the couch,’ said Symonds.

‘And then we heard neighbours pressing glasses up against the wall,’ added Symonds.

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