Inspired nurses promise to shout even louder at elderly patients


Nurses, who are in a celebratory mood after discovering that they are to get a significant pay rise, have promised to shout instructions and orders at elderly patients louder than ever.

Nurse, Murial Hislop intends to shout variants on ‘C’mon luvvee’ extremely loudly at the end of every sentence aimed at anyone over 50, all day.

Hislop believes that the new extra loud shouting could last for hours, certainly until it becomes time for all the staff to gather around the little nurse’s station to chat and laugh for fucking ages.

‘I couldn’t be more excited; I’m going to start practicing now,’ said Hislop.

‘C’mon luvvee, take this pill for me. Pop back into bed for me now, luvvee,’ shouted Hislop.