‘It’s ok dear, I’ve booked the cock into the Premier Inn,’ says The Queen

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The Queen has told Donald Trump that her spare 350 bedrooms are all being decorated the week that he’s in town.

The Queen has booked Trump a room at The Premier Inn, although she’s not paying for the shit breakfast.

Prince Philip though, has still insisted on saving up his piss until the visit, so that he has something to greet the midget-handed nutcase with.

‘Him and Melania will be quite comfortable in the hotel,’ said Prince Philip.

‘I’m sure she’s seen plenty of hotel ceilings in her day,’ added His Royal Highness.