‘I’ve had Archie’s webbed feet removed,’ says Meghan

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The latest member of the illuminati has been made presentable, after having his tail and webbed feet removed.

Meghan Markle has been keen to show off baby Archie’s good looks, but has had to wait for the Royal de-lizardisation operation.

Markle showed Archie off to the cameras last week, but took the precaution of covering his delicate gills with a beautiful snug little blanket.

‘Getting his tongue done next week,’ said Meghan.

‘Flies are still pretty nervous around him, that’s for sure,’ added The Duchess of Sussex.