Jamie Oliver to get an ice cream van


Jamie Oliver is hoping to cash in on a hot summer by buying an ice cream van, now that he’s fucked up his restaurant business.

Oliver is planning to spice up the traditional delicacies of the trade by replacing the standard ice cream with some guacamole shit with pecans and saffron.  

Oliver will be driving down your street about 4.30 this afternoon, and will have just run out of whichever lolly you ask for.

‘Gonna sell cigs in the winter,’ said Oliver.

‘And drugs too, probably. Like the more traditional ice cream vans,’ added Oliver.