‘Keep those Northern monkeys up there,’ says The South

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The Government have put a stop to the proposed idea of flooding the South with uncultured scum from the North.

The South had warned the Government that setting up a speedy rail link could risk bringing pastie eating malingerers into the economic hub of the country.

But southern based entrepreneur, Peter Thape is not happy about the probable cancellation of HS2.

‘I was going to open a massive chippy, with barms and everything,’ said Thape.

‘That would have stopped them running through the fields and stealing our crops,’ added Thape.