London City Airport to move control tower to India

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The air traffic controls for the London City Airport are being outsourced to a digitally simulated centre in Mumbai.

Indian staff are already practising using mock English names like Stephen, Philip, and Edward to help land the planes using the digital pictures of the London runway.

Patak Thape will be landing planes, after recently finishing work for BT in Bangalore, where he was Head of Pretending to be English.

‘Hello, my name is Peter. You are cleared for landing on runway one zero one, roger,’ said Thape.

‘See, I’m getting the hang of it already,’ added Thape.