Man gets through to the next round of talent show without a sad story

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A 20 year old man from Suffolk has won through to the next round of the X-Factor without a sad story dominating his life.

The programme’s researchers expressed considerable regret that none of the contestant’s parents had died, nor that he’d been discovered in a skip as a baby.

The show were equally unable to tease out some lifelong dream against all adversity for an entire show, concluding with the participant’s three-legged dog running up to him when he got four yes’s. Peter Thape is a producer of the show.

‘We asked him repeatedly if his sister had died in her infancy, but he just kept saying No,’ said Thape.

‘He won’t get into boot camp. He’s just got a lovely voice,’ added Thape.