A man who had claimed that he was going to do loads and loads of stuff with his 10 day Christmas break has done absolutely fuck all with his time off.
Peter Thape (34) had planned to sort out the countless outstanding problems in his house and life, but has instead equally divided the time between chocolate, self-hatred, and Netflix.
Thape’s only Christmas achievement has been the growth of a full fanny face beard, and a new record in wearing the same clothes for continual days.
‘I should never retire; I’d be dead within three months,’ said Thape.
‘I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be back in work,’ added Thape.