Meerkats hauled in over Novichok poisonings


The government has made significant arrests in its bid to prosecute some Russians for the novichok poisonings.  

The government has discovered that pictures of both Alexandr and Sergie Meerkat were seen on British television at the same time that the alleged poisonings took place in Salisbury.

The Meerkats, who were picked up selling two for one cinema tickets outside a local multiplex, remain the country’s best chance of successfully convicting Russians over the incident.

‘Both these lads had small indents in their faces that showed up when they smiled,’ said Government spokesman, Peter Thape.

‘Dimples,’ added Thape.