Network Rail boss and Queen having an affair


Network rail boss, Mark Carne will sit on the Queen’s knee during The Trooping of the Colour today.

News of Carne and Windsor having an affair has helped the public understand how Carne managed to receive a CBE in the Queen’s birthday honours.

Carne is expected to join the Queen on the balcony at Buckingham Palace this afternoon, where he’ll wave to excited onlookers.

‘I’m rich, and have a title too, so all you shitty train users can go fuck yourself,’ said Carne.

‘I’ll put the trains on whenever I can be arsed,’ added Carne.