New Doctor Who to be an actual GP, with only 5 minutes for each adventure


The BBC have ended months of speculation about who will become the new Doctor Who, by naming Doctor Peter Thape from Chigley Medical Centre.

Local GP, Thape will only have 5 minutes to resolve each civilisation-threatening episode, including an unrequited love relationship with his assistant.

Thape believes that most adventures will enter the consultation room with a sore throat, before casually mentioning severe depression on their way out of his surgery.

‘The Weeping Angels was probably more an issue of acid reflux,’ suggested Thape.

‘I think the Daleks problem could probably be resolved with a mobility scooter, and a blue badge,’ added Thape.