Offshore whales and turtles to be charged 5p for plastic bags


The government is considering charging whales and turtles the standard charge for plastic bags after Sir David Attenborough’s Blue Planet revealed that the ocean dwellers had a surplus of bags and other plastics.

The Minister for The Environment, Peter Thape is keen to point out that those who live offshore should be as responsible as those who live on the land for paying their taxes.

Thape has set up checkpoints all over the sea, where ocean going mammals and fish can make cash payments for bags, arrange transfers, or more likely, set up direct debits.

‘I appreciate that it’s probably just a culture thing, but whales, turtles and the like should have some responsibility for the mess they’re making in the ocean,’ said Thape.

‘If this madness continues, then marine life will destroy this planet,’ added Thape.