Only 40 more American sex cases to Christmas

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People are waking up in the knowledge that there are only 40 more American entertainers to be outed as sex cases before Christmas Day.  

Gift shops and stores are stocking advent calendars which will reveal another predatory celebrity each day of December, along with a disappointingly small piece of chocolate.

Louis CK says that he’s not too bothered to have missed out on the royalties that would have come with being chosen for this year’s advent calendar.

‘Nobody’s surprised that I’ve turned up on the list. It’s more or less my act,’ said Louis.

‘Kevin Spacey’s really gone for it, though. He’s pretty much become Kaiser Soze,’ added Louis.