Over one billion children every second injured in trampoline parks

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Britain is running out of children, after it was discovered that over ten million children a day were being gravely injured in trampoline parks.

There are now only enough children to get through to the end of March after hospitals reported that trampoline collisions and accidents were irreversibly thinning out the population.

Local dad, Peter Thape recently took his four children to Jump Mental, but only returned home with two of them.

‘Four children’s a lot,’ said Thape.

‘Two is a much more manageable number. There’ll be a lot less driving around, now,’ added Thape.