Pansexual: the new fancier word for muff divin’

pans

Another new, load of bollocks, word has come along to describe something we’ve all been quite happy with for ages.

Instead of Lib Dem MP, Layla Moran just saying that she’s gone lesbo, become a carpet muncher, or is bisexual, she’s had to go Pansexual.

Now, local highly impressionable teenager, Murial Hislop is not sure whether to go Pansexual or Vegan for January.

‘There’s another new term in town, and I think I should be it,’ said Hislop.

‘Which month can be pansexualary?’ asked Hislop.