‘Parsons Green Tube bomb not bought in Lidl,’ says Lidl boss

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A spokesman for Lidl has strenuously denied that the bomb used for this morning’s terror attack was bought in one of his company’s stores, despite it appearing to be in a Lidl carrier bag.

Lidl spokesman, Peter Thape has reiterated that this week’s offers include tangerines, ripen at home plums, and sugar snap peas; all available at 59p.

Thape has further added that the shopper who used his Lidl bag for life in an act of terrorism, will not be able to claim a replacement bag.

‘I bet Aldi are gutted,’ said Lidl spokesman, Thape.

‘Where’s your tube bombers Aldi, if you think you’re so good?’ added Thape.