Pixelated Gypsy turns up to lay tarmac driveway


A tradesman of Romany descent surprised locals by turning up to lay tarmac with his head fuzzed out to protect his identity.

He arrived, with his freshly-wed bride, in a horse-drawn Cinderella carriage. His tools were carried in a 100 ft. limousine, all neatly stacked between seven year old gyrating bridesmaids who were wearing clothes from the Dolce and Gabbana young prostitute range. The bride’s dress, which weighed in at three quarters of a tonne, was used to smooth the top layer of tarmac.

‘It’s taken three weeks to sew the 4 million crystals and sequins onto that hem, but just look at the finish of that drive,’ said dressmaker Murial Hislop.

‘It’s an expensive path, but I won’t say how much. They’re a very private and proud people,’ added Hislop.