Poisoned Russian spy may have won £1 on his scratchcard


It is now thought that the man from the Russian spy novel, who was found on a bench in Salisbury, may have won £1 on the scratchcard that he bought, prior to being poisoned.   

Sergie Skripal, who was clearly seen on CCTV buying some groceries and a scratchcard shortly before the poisoning, may now be carrying the £1 winning card on his person.

Should Skripal recover, he now faces the very ordinary decision that many of us face, day to day, of whether to cash in the winner, or simply swap it for another one.

‘A lot of people associate spying with pens that shoot bullets, and James Bond shit,’ said an angry Skripal.

‘I still have to buy toilet roll, you know,’ added Skripal.