Police just piss bored now on a Friday night


The police have complained about having more or less nothing to do on a Friday night.

Local rozzer, Peter Thape used to use Friday night brawls and those who resisted arrest to release his week’s frustration.

Thape has asked the government to allow staged drinking to return to town centres to help the police retain their skills.

‘This virus has ruined good honest crime,’ said Thape.

‘We’ll need a virus every year to keep the figures this low,’ added Thape.