Prince Andrew has been honoured for his contribution to nobbin minors by The Queen, in the New Year’s Honours list.
Andrew, who has previously been a Prince, will become a King from next year.
A private party will be held, after the ceremony, at Pizza Express in Woking.
‘I have never met that tidy girl, with a decent arse, that I definitely knobbed,’ confirmed Prince Andrew.
‘I met with Jeffrey Epstein to tell him that we couldn’t meet,’ added the new King.