Prince Andrew is to escape justice and lie low with his elusive relative, Lord Lucan.
Proof of Lucan’s existence in Australia was all Prince Andrew needed to hear, as he bolted for the airport.
The Prince shouted as he ran towards the departure gate…no goddamn pigs are gonna catch me…before boarding a plane to Australia.
‘I’m not doing chokey for any bird,’ said The Prince.
‘I was in Pizza Express!’ he shouted again.