Queen to testify against Meghan Markle

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The Queen has confirmed that she will testify against Meghan Markle in the upcoming court case between Meghan Markle and The Mail on Sunday.

The Queen has already chosen the hat that she will wear, which royal advisors believe will be lime green, with a delicate bouquet on the left hand side.

The Queen told Cutting News that she hopes to…fuck up Meghan, big style, for wrecking the family.

‘We don’t like change in this family,’ warned The Queen.

‘Watch yourself driving through any tunnels,’ added Her Royal Highness.