Robert Mugabe to be awarded Nobel Peace Prize

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Leader of Zimbabwe, and all-round lovely guy, Robert Mugabe is to be awarded The Nobel Peace Prize in addition to becoming an Ambassador for the World Health Organisation.

When the announcement was made this morning, people flooded into the streets of Harare and danced around on their remaining limbs.

Harare local, Peter MThape wanted to thank Mugabe personally for helping some of his children reach the age of 12 months, having lost two of them to illnesses that belonged in the 17th century.

‘Mugabe is the most wonderful leader. He truly deserves this award,’ said MThape, at gunpoint.

‘I have bought him a gift of some more moustache bits, so that he can finish his off properly,’ added MThape.