Shop security numpties the new Gods


Those men in hi-viz vests that used to simply keep an eye on the local shoplifter have become the new gods of society, deciding whether you can enter the shop or not.  

With their pretend little counting machines, and rolls of duct tape, the former school bullies are lording over who they let in and when.

Local former criminal, Peter Thape is a security guard at Aldi, and he’s been enjoying making those customers he thinks are cocks wait a little bit longer.

‘Me actual name’s Thaper, but how was I going to get a job with my record,’ admitted Thape/Thaper.

‘It’s been brilliant. Never had power like it, since I held that family hostage,’ he added.