Sports Direct to sell essential tracksuit bottoms

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Sports Direct have bravely decided to stay open to sell essential socks and competitively priced footballs.

Sports Direct owner, Mike Ashley took the courageous decision to allow his staff to serve the public from the isolation of his 900 bedroom house.

Employee, Peter Thape is looking forward to risking his own life and those of his customers to help keep the country in ping pong balls.  

‘We’ll be opening an hour early so that NHS staff can get replica football kits,’ said Thape.