Tangerines under increasing pressure to resign

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Tangerines are once again being asked to step down as one of Britain’s leading fruits, after further reports indicated that only one in four of them is any good.

The anti-citrus fever has been ramped up by the recent resignation of Tangerine Fan Club Chairman, Peter Thape, who believes that the fruit’s behaviour is out of control.

Thape, whose house and car are famously made from tangerine peel, has seen the public’s favourite bag of crisp avoiding snack continue to disappoint. Thape believes that the risk of choosing a manky one from the bowl is too high.

‘It’s like Russian roulette. I say go for an onion; you know what you’re going to get there,’ said Thape.

‘They started all this themselves. Changing their names to satsumas, and clementines. We’re not idiots,’ added Thape.