Tim Farron resigns, so that he can spend more time hating gays

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Tim Farron’s departure from office should allow him more time to concentrate on disapproving of the people that God has told him to hate.

Farron has admitted that being in a high profile public role has meant a compromise between his beliefs, and satisfying public opinion.

Farron will no longer have his day bogged down by endless questions about his homophobia, and will be able to sit quietly contemplating hatred for others, just as his God intended.

‘God clearly says that man shall not lie with another man,’ said Farron.

‘Does that mean I can still watch girl on girl stuff?’ Farron asked.