U.S. weapons carry Safety Kitemark, unlike the Syrian ones


President Trump has confirmed that American missiles carry no danger, and are unlikely to cause wholesale damage, like the nasty Syrian ones do.

Superior engineering will ensure that the bombs do not cause a horrible death like gassing does, and that the intended targets will gently fade away after the missiles strike.

President Trump has also denied that he’s starting a war just because nobody will let him build a wall, or ban brown people properly.

‘I know – who thought I’d be starting wars this early into my Presidency?’ asked Trump.

‘Have you seen the graphics on these bombing cameras, it’s better than Gears of War 4,’ added Trump.